Thursday, 15 December 2011

Mid-December! Almost there...only 4 more working days, then a nice break for me. This may be my last funnies for the year, depending how I feel next Thursday. We'll see. I guess if there is enough demand, I'll make the effort...

First, youtube link:

The most intense Taekwondo fight ever

Now this week's joke:

A turtle was walking down a CBD alley when a gang of snails mugged him. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused expression on his face and replied, “I don’t know - it all happened so fast.”

Bit short that one, so here's a bonus:

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years.

On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh.

The man runs out and tells the doctor,

"My wife made a noise! She sighed! All I did was touch her breast!"

The doctor thinks about this, then says,

"This is a good sign. I think you should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction."

The man then goes back in and rubs her right breast, and this time his wife moans.

"This is amazing," said the doctor, "obviously sexual interaction is creating a response from your wife. I think now you should try oral sex."

The doctor then tells the man that he will wait outside, so not to pry on such a personal act.

The man goes in, then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet.

"She's dead" the man tells the doctor.

"What happened?!" asked the doctor.

The man replies,

"She choked."

Finally, onto the funnies!

Enjoy the pics, enjoy your weekend, enjoy your Christmas, & have a happy new year! :)

Thursday, 8 December 2011

No stuffing around this week...straight into the joke:

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.

Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach.

As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?"

He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together.

At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door.

He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs.

The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time.

He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said,

"Come on guys, we're almost there!!"

Now the funnies!

Enjoy the pics and enjoy your weekend :)