Thursday, July 25, 2013

Thursday, 25 July 2013

Here we go again.


A man goes to a bar and meets and escort.  After talking to her for a bit, he asks her,

"Alright. Enough talk. How much is it gonna cost me for a handjob?"

"$50," she says.

"$50 for a handjob? You've got to be kidding me!" he replies.

"Come over here," she says. "See that car outside?" She points to the window. He looks out, and sees a brand new sports car.

"Wow, that looks pretty expensive." he says.

"I bought that purely off $50 handjobs." she replies.

The man thinks to himself, "Hell, they must be pretty good." So he gives her $50, and sure enough, best one he's ever had. He goes back the next night and finds her again. After a few drinks he says,

"Alright. That handjob last night was pretty good. How much for a blowjob?"

"$500." She says.

"$500? That's fucking ridiculous." The man replies.

"Come here. See that house on the hill?" she says. So the man comes over, and looks out the window. Outside on the hill, he sees an immaculate mansion. Easily more than 20 rooms.

"Wow, that looks extremely expensive." he says.

"I bought that off of $500 blowjobs." she says. So following suit, the man gives her $500, and sure enough, it's the best blowjob of his entire life. On the third night, he returns once more.

"Alright," He says. "No more playing around. How much is it gonna cost for some pussy?" She replies,

"Are you kidding? If I had a pussy I'd own this town!"

Pics. Enjoy.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Thursday, 18 July 2013

Was sick last week, but back to the funnies.


A man and a wife are in bed one night, when suddenly there's a knock at the door. Bleary eyed, the man staggers down the stairs mumbling profanities and opens the front door to see an old man. 

"I'm sorry to have woken you up but I was wondering if you can help me by giving me a bit of a push?"

"What!?" replied the man, "you woke me up at two in the morning for that? Get lost. I have work in the morning!" 

He slams the door and marches back upstairs. As he gets into bed his wife enquires as to who was at the door. 

"Oh, some old fella wanting a push. At this time of night." he snapped. 

"And you didn't help him?" his wife asked, "What if it were me and our car broke down. Do you think you'd be happy knowing someone couldn't be bothered to help me? I think you should go out there and help him right now." 

"Oh alright" he muttered. 

He put on his coat and the nearest pair of shoes and went back downstairs to see if the man was still there.

Upon getting outside, he couldn't see the man or his car anywhere. 

"Hello!? Are you still there?" he shouted. 

"I'm over here" a voice called out,

"On the swings."

Pics. Enjoy.