Was sick last week, but back to the funnies.
A man and a wife are in bed one night, when suddenly there's a knock at the door. Bleary eyed, the man staggers down the stairs mumbling profanities and opens the front door to see an old man.
"I'm sorry to have woken you up but I was wondering if you can help me by giving me a bit of a push?"
"What!?" replied the man, "you woke me up at two in the morning for that? Get lost. I have work in the morning!"
He slams the door and marches back upstairs. As he gets into bed his wife enquires as to who was at the door.
"Oh, some old fella wanting a push. At this time of night." he snapped.
"And you didn't help him?" his wife asked, "What if it were me and our car broke down. Do you think you'd be happy knowing someone couldn't be bothered to help me? I think you should go out there and help him right now."
"Oh alright" he muttered.
He put on his coat and the nearest pair of shoes and went back downstairs to see if the man was still there.
Upon getting outside, he couldn't see the man or his car anywhere.
"Hello!? Are you still there?" he shouted.
"I'm over here" a voice called out,
"On the swings."