Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf club when a guy carrying a golf bag calls out to them, " Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."
"Sure", they said. So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.
Part way around the course one of the friends asked the newcomer, "So what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a hitman." was the reply.
"You're joking." replied one of the friends.
"No I'm not." came the reply. The newcomer then reached into his golf bag, pulled out a Martini sniper rifle with a large telescopic sight and said, "Here are my tools."
"That's a great looking scope," said one of the friends, "can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."
The friend picked up the rifle and looked through the scope in the direction of his house.
"Yeah, I can see my house alright, this scope is fantastic, I can see right in the window, ha, I can even see the wife, ha ha, I can see she's naked! Hang on, wait a minute, that's my neighbour there with her! And he's naked too!"
He turned to the hitman and asked "How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do you a flat rate, $1000 every time I pull the trigger." replied the hitman.
"Can you do two for me now?" asked the friend.
"Sure," said the hitman, "how do you want it?"
"First, shoot my wife, she's always been a bit mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth. Then my neighbour, he's actually not a bad bloke, so just shoot him in the old-feller, that should teach him a lesson ".
The hitman takes the rifle and takes aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.
"Are you going to do it or not?" says the friend impatiently.
"Just be patient," replies the hitman calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here".
Enjoy the pics and enjoy your weekend :)