Thursday, February 9, 2012

Thursday, 9 February 2012

No crap, straight into it this week.

Joke (few quick one-liners this week):

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin. 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, "These buggers have lost the plot!"

I was at a cash machine yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance. Not being one to disappoint, I pushed the old dear over.

My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70! Too expensive, I thought. I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a crap."

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!

PM Julia Gillard has announced that she intends to make it more difficult to claim welfare benefits. From next week, all forms will be printed in English.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAA van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’.

On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English-speaking Doctor’. I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?'

YouTube video:

O.K. GO's newest clip

These are the guys that did the treadmill clip. Always doing cool stuff.

Now onto the funnies!

Enjoy the pics and enjoy your weekend :)

PS Next week will be a guest Thursday Funnies post from Christopher...looking forward to having a week off and seeing what he comes up with!


Jay said...

you're such a jerk, brain!

JFoster said...

Haha yep that was my fav this week