Thursday, November 1, 2012

Thursday, 1 November 2012

As usual, joke and pics.


Joke (two this week, because they are both lame):

One day, a young man takes a trip out West and comes across a little Native American village. He decides, what the heck, he'll stop and look around. 

One of the Native women, seeing that he's not from around, tells the man he should visit the Chief, who she says has the longest and best memory in the world. 

So the man decides to go visit the Chief and says: 

"So I hear you have the greatest memory in the world." 

The Chief answers "I do. I can remember every single detail of my entire life." 

The man figures he should test this, and asks the Chief 

"What did you have for breakfast on April the 27th, 1959?" 

After stopping to think for a second, the chief answers "two eggs." 

Satisfied, the man says goodbye to the Chief and eventually leaves the village. 

Twenty years later, the man takes another trip out West and comes across the same village. He's amazed when he notices the Chief, still alive after all these years. The man stops and says hello by raising his hand and saying, "How."

The Chief replies "fried."

No 2

While in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says,

'I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.'

The man looks a little perplexed and says: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.'

The doctor answers: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.'

The man screams in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.' 

The doctor replies: 'Well, it's your choice.. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice.'

The next day the man seeks out a Chinese doctor figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: 

'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease.' 

The guy says to the doctor: 

'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!'

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: 'Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!'

'Oh, Thank God!' the man replies.

'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself.'

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