Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Thursday, 7 October 2010

How was everyone’s long weekend?

So Collingwood got up. How disappointing. Not that I like the Saints, but it was such a one-sided replay. Was boring watching in the end. Anyway, let’s hope the Crows can improve next year and take it home! Eh? Eh?

Anyway, I had my tooth pulled the other day. Not the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had. Had the funniest dentist though. Some Asian guy who kept calling me “Buddy”, and talking about having a beer at the pub for the Grand Final. Hmm you had to be there.

So I thought I’d go with a bit of a longer joke this week. Mix it up a bit ;)

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'

Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm going to explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Ralph.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell...

'Ralph! Wake up. You shit the bed!'


Ahahahaha amazing. Well I thought so anyway.

You will notice this week there are a few moving gifs in the mix. Apologies to those with slow connections, you will have to let them load. But it’s worth it! And appreciate how freakin long it took to upload them all.

Anywho, onto the funnies.

Enjoy the pics, and enjoy your weekend :)